Hi I'm new to SPACE and just now bought the books so I'm sorry if this is basic knowledge but I'm feeling a bit desperate. My son is 13 and has OCD/ADHD and I'll spare you the whole history but the brunt is he has been refusing school for a while now (refusing seems like the wrong word since he's having physical anxiety attacks, but you get it.) Even before the school refusal we were dealing with a lot of confrontation with teachers, refusing to do work, and there have been quite a few other issues. The challenge I am facing is whenever I've tried to get him to a therapist, etc. he won't participate or I can't physically get him to go -- especially if it's online he won't enter the room. Naturally the therapist can't treat him like that so we become excused from their practice. His last therapist was school based so she said he needs to see someone more regularly like daily and that it should be CBT based. However she stressed that CBT is a difficult process that requires the child's active participation. I know he won't participate, and am in fact completely not confident in my ability to get him TO the IOP facility. And I'm afraid we'll just get turned away again, because they cannot help him unless he is an active and willing participant.
He truly believes that all he needs to do is , like, will himself to go to school. And all the other challenges he's facing he feels like are the other people's problems, not his. He therefore doesn't see any benefit to treatment.
I cannot be the only person whose child does not want or feel they need treatment, and yet every professional is just like, sorry but there's nothing we can do with this.
What can I do at home to get him to the point where he either recognizes the need for help, or at least agrees to do it?
Hi Racheal, SPACE providers focus is to only work with parents. As was stated earlier, you don’t need to make your kid to do ANYTHING. The entire focus is on yourself. Your own behaviour - how you respond matters. That's the work. It's simple and of course not easy as you can't see your own blind spots...
I feel your pain. We are in the same situation but our daughter is 21 years old (dropped out of college). She won’t see a ERP therapist or get any treatment. We have read the book and will start implementing the SPACE program soon. It is our only hope for now. She has suffered for 4 years now with severe OCD.
Hi Racheal,
I hear what you are saying but you have arrived when you say you are just beginning the space journey with the purchas of the book. the SPACE programme is perfect for those that refuse treatment because it is parent based treatment for you childs anxiety and ocd. it does not reguire his permission or try to force him to treatment or at no stage will you be asked to ask him to change. You are the solution here in space you make changes to your behaviour the child is the patient but it is the parents that do the work or attend sessions. it is very effective have you seen elis video that explains the inter relationsl aspect of anxiety https://youtu.be/ExVvAn9hcjY